


The way you watch me (I know you love me)

by HopeSilverheart



Series: Loving Em at 2AM [16]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Cuddles, Engaged Clary/Isabelle, Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff, Girls in Love, Insecure Clary Fray, Love, Protective Isabelle Lightwood, Secret Wings, Supportive Isabelle Lightwood, wing fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:22:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24615991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HopeSilverheart/pseuds/HopeSilverheart
Summary: “I have wings.”The words echoed in the bedroom, quiet but clear, weak but ever-so-powerful. Surprised flashed across Isabelle’s face, but it was quickly replaced with something like realisation. Whatever Clary had been expecting, that wasn’t it. She had thought Isabelle wouldn’t believe her, would scoff at her or roll her eyes or tell her she was insane.Never in a million years had she expected her fiancée to just… accept her statement as truth. She hadn’t even asked for proof.Or: Clary tells Isabelle about the wings she's kept hidden all along.
Relationships: Clary Fray/Isabelle Lightwood
Series: Loving Em at 2AM [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1764400
Comments: 7
Kudos: 78





	The way you watch me (I know you love me)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thatnerdemryn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatnerdemryn/gifts).



> who really needs titles anymore?

Clary’s heart beat wildly as she stood in front of her girlfriend, trying to work up the courage to reveal the secret she had been hiding ever since she had entered the Shadow world.

It was one of those things she had always known but had forgotten about after Magnus’ memory spells. It was also the only thing she had kept to herself, remembering the words her mother had uttered in an uncommonly vivid memory.

‘ _Keep these to yourself, Clary. Even once you remember all of this, I need you to promise me you won’t tell anyone. I know you don’t understand, my sweet angel, but these could put you in a lot of danger. Until you trust a person wholly, with your heart and your life, you’ll have to keep this hidden_.’

She had.

She hadn’t said a single word about the secret her mother had buried behind layers of magic and protections. She had panicked about it briefly once her angelic blood had been revealed, but no one had ever suspected anything. There were times when she wished they had, just so she could let go of this burden that weighed heavy – literally and figuratively – on her shoulders.

But Isabelle and she were engaged now, and there was no hiding this from the love of her life. She didn’t think she could live with herself if she kept this hidden forever, especially from the woman who had been nothing but accepting and kind and doting.

“Clary, you’re freaking me out,” Isabelle murmured when Clary failed to say anything.

She had been standing there for over ten minutes, her hands clenched into fists and her teeth gritting painfully against each other. She wanted to get it over with, but the words felt like led in her throat. She could feel them trying to crawl out, but her mother’s memory kept pushing back, making her feel like she was choking on remorse and guilt and grief.

“Clary, is this about my proposal?” Isabelle asked, her voice small and uncertain. “Because if you changed your mind about it, it’s more than alright. I won’t hold it against you if you want us to take things slower. Just… say something, please? Tell me you’re alright, at least.”

“I’m fine,” Clary breathed out, tears stinging at her eyes. She was frustrated at herself, annoyed at the world, and ever-so-thankful for this beautiful woman who listened to her and worried about her and just wanted her to be okay. “Really, I am.”

Isabelle was still staring at her dubiously, her eyes concerned and loving and as warm as always. Perhaps that was what finally made Clary cave, or perhaps the words had just won the war against her conflicted emotions.

“I’ve been hiding something from you,” she blurted out, immediately regretting her phrasing when Isabelle’s eyes widened fearfully. “No! No! It’s not… It’s not anything bad, really. It’s just something my mother asked me to keep a secret. She said it could put me in danger, and I… I’ve been wanting to tell you for a while now, but I never knew how.”

She waited for Isabelle to say something, to condemn her for lying to her – or at least omitting the truth – but the accusations never came. Her fiancée’s gaze was as steady and trusting as it had been a few minutes earlier. Clary was once again overwhelmed with gratefulness. She didn’t know what she had done to deserve such a wonderful woman, but she would thank whichever angel had given her Isabelle.

She breathed in deeply, letting the love Isabelle felt for her flood her heart and her mind and every single crevice in her body.

“I have wings.”

The words echoed in the bedroom, quiet but clear, weak but ever-so-powerful. Surprised flashed across Isabelle’s face, but it was quickly replaced with something like realisation. Whatever Clary had been expecting, _that_ wasn’t it. She had thought Isabelle wouldn’t believe her, would scoff at her or roll her eyes or tell her she was insane.

Never in a million years had she expected her fiancée to just… accept her statement as truth. She hadn’t even asked for proof.

“That makes a lot of sense, actually,” Isabelle finally murmured, cocking her head to the side and frowning thoughtfully. Clary wondered what she was thinking about, which moments stood out in her mind when she thought about her winged fiancée. “There are a few things that never really clicked, a few strange quirks you developed that couldn’t be explained by anything rational, so this… I’m not going to say I knew, because I really didn’t, but it’s not entirely surprising, either.”

Clary nodded slowly, still inspecting Isabelle’s face for betrayal or disgust or anything along those lines. The only thing she found was acceptance and joy, and she didn’t know what to do about it. She hadn’t prepared herself for the best case scenario.

“Do you want to see them?”

She hadn’t planned on doing it, on revealing this part of her she had kept hidden for so long. She had thought Isabelle would be repulsed and never want to think about them again. But her fiancée’s eyes lit up at the offer, and Clary knew she couldn’t take it back. Not when the mere _idea_ of her wings made Isabelle look so delighted.

She unbuttoned her shirt as quickly as possible, ignoring her shaky fingers and trying her best not to let Isabelle see how nervous she was. It was one thing to talk about her wings, it was another to actually put them on display.

She barely ever looked at them herself, too afraid that someone would walk in on her and catch her in the act. With Isabelle around, she had had to be even more careful. Frankly, Clary couldn’t remember when she had last looked at her wings in the mirror. It had to have been at least a month ago, if not more.

Finally, her shirt fell to the floor. She was naked underneath, having given up on dealing with bras a long time ago. Wings just didn’t mesh well with lingerie. Isabelle couldn’t see them yet, since they were strongly glamoured, but Clary could feel them flutter excitedly behind her.

Before she could talk herself out of it, she grabbed her stele and drew the rune her mother had showed her in that damned memory. Instantly, she could see her wings come alive out of the corner of her eye. They spread out behind her imposingly, and she kept her gaze fixed on the floor.

She really didn’t want to stare at Isabelle as her fiancée reacted to this part of her for the first time. There was something intensely intimate and terribly terrifying about showing someone her wings. Maybe it was because no one other than her – and now Isabelle – knew about them, or maybe it was because she was scared her fiancée wouldn’t like them as much as she liked everything else about Clary.

Either way, she couldn’t bring herself to look at Isabelle.

She knew what her fiancée was seeing. Despite how little she looked at her wings, they were imprinted in her mind. Silver wings, larger than Clary was tall, glittery in the sunlight but matte in the darkness, tips painted white. They weren’t exactly angelic, but they were close enough.

Deep down, Clary had always loved her wings. Having to keep them hidden like some sort of secret she was ashamed of hurt her heart, but she understood it was a necessity. Who knew what the Clave would do if they found out about a shadowhunter with angel wings? Still, it hurt Clary’s soul to not be able to share such a wonderful part of hersemf with the world.

Yes, she was afraid of Isabelle’s reaction, but it didn’t mean she loved her wings any less.

In the few seconds it took her fiancée to say something, Clary didn’t breathe. She _couldn’t_ breathe, not with her entire body exposed like that, and certainly not with Isabelle’s continued silence.

Eventually, she felt Isabelle take a few steps forward, and then her fiancées fingers were tilting her chin up until their gazes were locked together. The love and awe shining in Isabelle’s eyes was almost too much to handle, but Clary didn’t let herself cry. The last thing she wanted was for Isabelle to think Clary was unhappy with her reaction.

If anything, she was overjoyed. She just didn’t know how to put her gratitude into words, so she leaned forwards and crashed their lips together instead. The kiss was messy and wet and not the most elegant one they had shared, but this was _Isabelle_. Her perfect fiancée who didn’t care about her wings or her poorly-concealed tears or her inability to talk.

This was Isabelle, who held her as gently as ever and carded her fingers through Clary’s feathers the same way she’d always done with her hair. Clary melted into the touch, almost sobbing relievedly at the feeling of someone _finally_ stroking her wings. There was a time when she had thought she’d never find the right person, would never be able to share her wings with anyone.

Having Isabelle there, not saying anything but letting her actions speak louder than her words, felt like a blessing. Clary would give up on her wings over and over again if it meant she got to keep Isabelle. She would give up on the one part of herself that she had always guarded and protected if it meant she got to love her fiancée until the end of time.

“You don’t hate them?” She already knew the answer to her own question, could feel it in Isabelle’s gentle brushes and casual kisses, but her mind still needed to hear the words said out loud.

Just once, she needed someone to tell her there was nothing to hide, nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to be _afraid_ of.

“Hate them?” Isabelle huffed. “Clary, I adore them, just as I adore every part of you. I understand why you kept this a secret, so don’t ask me if I hate you for that, because I don’t. There’s not a single thing I dislike about you, angel, and certainly not these beautiful wings of yours. Do you have any idea how stunning you look surrounded in silver? They make you stand out even more, and I didn’t think that was possible.”

Clary deflated, her hands curling possessively around Isabelle’s waist. Sometimes she couldn’t quite believe her fiancée was real, but sometimes she felt like the most concrete thing in the world.

Right there, as Isabelle whispered comforting words against Clary’s lips and told her she loved her repeatedly until the redhead was sobbing and laughing and telling her to stop, she was the only thing that mattered. If Isabelle had told her to walk outside with her wings on display, she would have done it. If she had told her to hide them and never take them out again, she would have done it.

She would have done anything for Isabelle, but all her fiancée wanted was to cherish her and her wings, just as Clary wanted to cherish her in return.

“You know, you’re even more of an angel now,” Isabelle whispered a few minutes later, once they had pulled apart to catch their breath.

Her fiancée’s gaze was focused on her wings, and her fingertips trailed over the feathers reverently. Clary shivered under her touch and stepped back, tucking her wings behind her back so she could embrace Isabelle properly. Immediately, her fiancée raised her arms and wrapped them around Clary’s neck.

“You’re the angel here,” the redhead protested, rubbing her nose against Isabelle’s and breathing in her familiar scent. “I swear there’s a god out there who created you just for me, and I will thank him until my dying breath.”

“If he created me for you, then he created you for me as well,” Isabelle smiled. “We’re two halves of a whole, angel. Well, except for your wings, but I’m sure that was just an oversight on this god’s part.”

“Undoubtedly,” Clary nodded seriously. “I’m sure you’d look beautiful with wings, Isabelle, but I hope you know how gorgeous you are even without them.”

“Well, with someone like you to remind me of it every single day, how could I not?” Isabelle chuckled, pressing one last kiss to Clary’s forehead before stepping away. “Now come on, let’s go to bed. We might need to do some shuffling around so your wings don’t get damaged, but I’m sure we’ll figure something out.”

Unsurprisingly, they did. Clary wasn’t sure there was a single thing she couldn’t do without Isabelle by her side. She might have been the one with an added dose of angelic blood, but she was starting to think her fiancée was another kind of deity altogether.

That night, for the first time in her life, Clary fell asleep with her fiancée next to her and her bright silver wings coiled around them protectively.

**Author's Note:**

> Heya guys! Thank you so much for reading! You all know the drill, these fics aren't beta'ed so any and all mistakes are my own! I've been in the mood to write wing fics these past two days, so please accept this as an offering. I hope you all enjoyed it!
> 
> Love, Junie. 
> 
> (find me on tumblr @hopesilverheart)


End file.
